Home > Uncategorized > Holidays, Part 1

Holidays, Part 1

Truth?

The holidays are hard this year.

I love Christmas.  I love this time of year where miracles seem just a breath away and people seem to take an extra second to think about someone else.  I love the music, the movies, the smell of the Christmas tree, the lights on houses, and the crisp winter air (which of course is relative here in Texas).

This year is different.  I just haven’t been able to find the joy I usually do.  Even my tweets have had a decidedly downcast feel.  The truth is that this will be my first Christmas alone in many years.  It’s a hard thing.  This year has had it’s ups and downs.  I’ve made good decisions and bad decisions, and I take responsibility for all of them.  I’m not a victim, but suffering the consequences does entail some pain, and I’m trying to remember that it is okay to hurt.  I have to remember that hurting is part of healing.  There are a lot of things I am learning about myself (or re-learning), but the difference is that for the first time I want to change and I want to deal with some of these issue.

I hesitated writing this because I hate the thought that I’m whining.  I try to be as honest as possible here since it is all a part of me, even if I try not to dwell too much on the negative.  There is a whole lot of story behind these two hundred or so words that isn’t for the interwebz, but buy me a drink and I’ll tell you all you want to hear.

The pain is there.  The loneliness is there too.  But there is hope.  And that’s the most important part of this story.  There is some healing already.  While I know this weekend is going to be tough, I can see that there will be another day, another Christmas.  And I have plenty to be thankful for now.  I have friends who love me and people who listen and speak truth into my life when I need it most.  I guess the miracle for this year is that I am healing, even if it is the beginning of the process.

I’ll be back to normal, sun shiny self soon.  I appreciate those of you who have expressed your concern in real life or through the waves.  It means more than you know.

Advertisements
Categories: Uncategorized
  1. December 22, 2010 at 8:54 am

    I’m sending positive, warm thoughts your way, Mike!

    • December 22, 2010 at 9:08 am

      Thanks! I really appreciate it 🙂

  2. Colleen Kingery
    December 22, 2010 at 4:07 pm

    Sending you a big holiday hug!

  3. January 5, 2011 at 10:25 pm

    you are allowed to be negative! we want to know the whole you, not just the sun-shiney part…

    sending a hug from philadelphia

  1. No trackbacks yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: